Confessions of a Pantless Man
by LenaGuffi
Summary: So, we all know about Nick's complicated relationship with his... pants. And also I kinda like naked Nick a lot. Also, when the "I love you" is going to happen? So this story is about that and... some other stuff.


"Ugh!" Jess groans flopping on to a couch in CeCe's apartment. " Stupid Nick Miller!"

Cece settles by her side bracing herself for a long rant. Any conversation starting with "stupid Nick Miller" requires lots of patience and sometimes alcohol. Cece is always prepared keeping a bottle of rosé in her fridge.

"What happened, Jess? I'm all ears, if you promise to skip gross details."

Jess lets out a sigh of exasperation.

"He said he loves me. Stupid Nick Miller!"

"What?!" CeCe eyes widen in shock. "I mean… WHAT? WHO? HOW?!"

"Calm down!" Jess snorts bitterly. "It's Nick we are talking about. He obviously blew it."

Despite Jess's evident disappontment CeCe feels a rush of excitement.

"I can't believe this day has come! Tell me everything!" she exclaims, beaming, like a little girl who just got a candy.

"Okay, brace yourself, Cece! This is really bad, even by Nick Miller's standards..."

"Just tell me already!"

"Well... Earlier today we were having sex. I'm not gonna lie... It was good, _very_ good.." Jess's expression softens as her mind trails off.

"He did this thing with his tongue and his hands, you know, the one I told you about, only this time he changed the angle and I think I blacked out for a second..."

"What did I say about skipping gross details, Jess?" CeCe interrupts her friend.

Ignoring her, Jess continues:

"So we are finished, and I mean _finished_," Jess wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, getting an eye roll from CeCe in response, "and we are lying there in an afterglow…"

* * *

**Flashback**

Nick and Jess are lying in Nick's bed, naked, breathing heavily, their legs and hands entwined, their bodies shiny with sweat. The sheets are messed up, partly thrown on the floor.

"Wow" Jess exhales and Nick opens and closes his mouth mutely, looking stunned.

"I can't even move." Jess mumbles. "You broke me, Nick Miller."

"Srry." Nick mutters.

"I don't feel my legs… Are they there?"

Nick reaches out and touches Jess's leg.

"Yep."

His hand lingers on her thigh, slowly moving upwards.

"Don't you dare, Nick Miller", Jess moans. "I'm in recovery"

"Your skin is so smooth and soft, I can't help it."

"It's my new shaving cream, isn't it amazing?" Jess informs proudly.

"_You_ are amazing", Nick says in a playful voice, turning his head to look at her and slowly the mood changes between them and they are having a _moment_. Their faces are inches apart and their eyes locked at each other. His face is serious and his pupils are dark and glossy, and she feels a huge lump forming in her throat. He opens his mouth to say something and she is holding her breath, wedding bells playing _Mendelssohn's_ _March_ in her head.

And at that very moment his left eye starts blinking rapidly. His right eye joins in shortly, and now both his eyes are twitching and blinking in a crazy frenzy.

"Nick? What is happening to your eyes?" Jess freaks out, as Nick sits upright rubbing his eyes with his hands.

"Nothing… I don't know. It happens to me when I'm nervous.." he keeps rubbing his eyes, muttering to himself. "Dammit Nick Miller, you fool, you blew it again, how hard is it to tell your girlfriend you love her. You stupid idiot!"

"Nick?" Jess gasps not quite believing her ears.

Nick's whole body freezes as he realizes that he just said it out loud.

After a moment of complete stillness, he jumps up, turning to her, his eyes pop out in panic, and he shakes his head wildly, pointing his index finger at her in speechless denial.

They are both still naked and it's a weird moment and she knows that _something_ happened, because she heard the words. But she can't help wondering what actually happened, because it doesn't feel nearly as romantic, as she'd anticipated, and her nude boyfriend is acting like a crazy lunatic.

And she isn't even finished wondering, when he makes his moonwalk escape towards the door.

"Nick, no!" she yells, but he is already outside and the door shuts behind him with a loud thud.

"What are you doing?! Where are you going?! This is your room! You are naked!" She cries after him, but he is long gone.

**End of Flashback**.

* * *

"So I think he actually ran out of the building naked. In freaking December." Jess concluded with neutral expression on her face.

CeCe looks confused and lost for words.

"I couldn't find him anywhere… " Jess sighs. "I even checked with Outside Dave".

"At least now you know he loves you.." CeCe mentions cautiously.

Wrong call.

Jess's face flinches.

"Do I?" She snaps. "Do I really?! He didn't say it, he blurted it out, if I blinked, I would've missed it, Cece! And then he tried to deny everything and moonwalked away from me. Stupid, stupid Nick Miller, why do you have to ruin everything?" Her voice breaks, hot tears flooding her eyes.

CeCe is on her way to the fridge to get the bottle of rosé. She wishes she bought two.

* * *

**Nick**

"Thank you, Tran, for loaning me your pants. They are very comfortable."

Nick sits on the bench, dressed in baggy khaki pants, with his hands crossed over his bare chest, rubbing his upper arms, trying to warm his shivering body.

Tran gives him a concerned look.

"I'm fine, buddy," Nick mutters through chattering teeth. "It's just a little chilly. Not a big deal. What about you?"

Tran, who is sitting on the bench in his underpants, smiles and nods silently.

"You are a real friend, Tran." Nick pats the old man on the shoulder affectionately. "I owe you."

They sit in silence for a minute.

"You want to know what happened?" Nick voices Tran's silent question. "Well… long story short, I was having a moment with Jess. I was going to tell her I loved her. I kinda did.. And then I blew it. I freaked out and ran away".

Nick sighs.

"Also, I accidentally flashed couple school girls on my way here." Nick adds, "They laughed."

Tran's body is shaking in silent laughter.

"I'm a clown, Tran, I don't have a chance with Jess."

Nick rubs his neck with the back of his hand.

"I'm so bad at things, Tran, I can't do anything. But me and Jess.. we are really good together. And sex... is mind-blowing. Just earlier today I rocked her world… twice... if you know what I mean.." Nick smirks smugly and winks at Tran. "With her I feel like I can do anything. I never felt this way with anyone, I'm so happy, it freaks me out."

He hesitates briefly before continuing.

"She is the one, Tran. She is perfect for me. But what if I'm not the one for her? I'm a mess, Tran, look at me! She deserves so much better."

Tran shakes his head in a negative.

"You are just saying it to make me feel better, you devil!" Nick exclaims, smirking.

Then his face darkens and he clenches his hands in tight fists.

"You are right! I need to go and talk to her. It's time to man up!" He gets up, holding Tran's trousers with his hands, so as not let them fall to the ground.

"Thank you, buddy, as always!"

Tran smiles mysteriously, watching as Nick Miller runs away, huge pants dangerously slipping down his bare buttocks.

* * *

**The Loft**

The elevator stops on the fourth floor, jumping slightly and making a soft "ding dong" sound as it's doors slowly open. As Jess exits, she sees Nick, sitting on the floor by the loft door, his head hanging down on his chest, unfamiliar pants covering lower part of his otherwise naked body. The sight of him, disheveled and defeated, vulnerable, makes her heart clench painfully in her chest.

"Nick!"

She rushes to him.

"Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere. Where have you been?"

Nick raises his head and at the sight of her, his face lightens up. He gets to his feet, holding his pants to his waist.

"Jess, I waited for you..."

"Have you forgotten about the spare key?" Jess tries to open the door, but her hands are shaking. " I put it under the rug. We talked about it. You could catch a cold out here. Let's go inside, it's freezing.." she rambles breathlessly.

"Wait. Jess, please.." He moves closer to her, trying to catch her attention, "Wait a second!"

"We have to get you inside fast, before you catch a cold..."

"Jess, please, look at me"

She stops and turns to him, her eyes puffy and red, and it's all his fault.

"Just hear me out, Jess!" he says with passion, that suddenly overwhelms him, "I'm sorry for today, I am so sorry.."

He swallows hard, because here it is - the moment, and he is not gonna blow it this time, because even if he doesn't deserve her, _she_ deserves to know.

"There are things I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, Jess. But I never had the courage. Also I'm really bad at confessions. You witnessed it yourself. But I understood today that if I can walk half a city naked, then I can do this too.

He takes a deep breath.

"You are an amazing woman - beautiful, sweet, sexy, smart and kind. You've changed my life in so many ways, Jess. And you make me happy _every single day_."

She feels like crying again, because it's the sweetest thing anyone ever said to her.

"I acted like a crazy man today." He admits, not taking his eyes from her. "The truth is that I'm so in love with you, that sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind." He whispers those words, and she is done. Whatever second thoughts she's been having, they are gone, the only thing that matters is his mouth, uttering those magical words.

"I love you too" falls effortlessly from her lips and it feels natural and so damn right.

His hands fly to her face, as their lips crash together, and his pants crash to the floor.

* * *

"Hey guys, I heard voices..."

Schmidt appears on the doorstep of apartment 4C, and his mouth falls open at the scene unfolding before him - Jessica Day is making out with Nick Miller, the latter is stark naked, apart from strangely looking pants, that are crumbled around his ankles.

"No kissing in the hallway!" Schmidt shouts, but is being majorly ignored by the lustful couple.

"This is unacceptable. This is a direct violation of pants policy in this building! I'm not going to let it slide!"

Cringing and wincing he retreats to his apartment; before closing the door entirely, he steals a peek, watching as butt naked Nick lifts Jess up against the loft door. Schmidt's face twitches in terrified grimace, and he swiftly shuts the door.

* * *

**Later in Schmidt's apartment.**

"Yes, doctor Kaufman, I will need another therapy session this week. Yes. Traumatic experience of a sexual nature. Yes. As a witness. No, no pants on this time."

The END


End file.
